Posts Tagged ‘pansexuality’

On Coming Out Day, I stayed inside

The Invisible Bisexual is a new contributor on my blog.  She is a real person, sharing honest comments about her experiences as a closeted bisexual.  ~Loraine Hutchins

The Invisible Bisexual

I’m so confused, but it’s not because I’m bisexual.

It’s this heated debate among the LGBTQ demographic about the use of the word “bisexual” that makes my head hurt.  This is supposed to be my “community” of allies, yet the stigma against bisexuality is still so strong that many continue to shun the Bi “label” (even many bisexuals) while trying to justify it with twisted logic and semantic gymnastics.

“It’s too binary,” they insist.  What kind of criticism is that?  We live in a binary world: female/male, yin/yang, gay/straight or the numbers 1/0 used for computing, for example.  They claim the word “bisexual” offends and excludes those who want to define themselves with some other label like queer, fluid or pansexual, and that it erases transgender people.  Never mind that transgender and bisexuality mean two different things: gender identity and sexual orientation.  And many trans people identify as bisexual.

If these Bi re-branders were honest, they’d have to admit that they don’t want to identify as bisexual because they don’t want to attract the painful stigma attached to bisexuals by both gay and straight people.  Could this be internalized biphobia? 

 If these Bi re-branders were honest, they’d have to admit that they don’t want to identify as bisexual because they don’t want to attract the painful stigma attached to bisexuals by both gay and straight people.

Statistically, bisexuals represent about half of the LGBTQ demographic.  But instead supporting bisexual pride with the majority of members among our LGBTQ cohort, many of our queer community continue to erase, conflate, obfuscate and denigrate bisexuality.

The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force is a good example with its 40 years of Bi erasure.  This year on the 15th Annual Celebrate Bisexuality Day (September 23, 2014), NGLTF posted an anti-bi blog by Evangeline Weiss, their Leadership Programs Director.  Could this be institutional biphobia?

Weiss wrote, “…My gender non-conforming, queer and/or genderqueer lovers, colleagues, and friends often feel trapped by the prison of the binary way our language designates gender.  So I’ve made a decision. I’m no longer going to lift up and claim a concept painful to others as part of my identity…I’m ready to say bye bye to the word bisexuality.”  Please stop conflating gender identity and sexual orientation, I want to scream!  Even worse, her comments were illustrated by an image of a button that lists “Gay, Straight or Wibbly-Wobbly Sexy-Wexy” as choices.  WTF? 

I’d like to feel respected and supported as a bisexual by all queer rights organizations.

What in these comments supports bisexual awareness or celebrates Bi pride? The button certainly conveys the stigma directed at bisexuals as being lascivious, over-sexed and confused. I’m so offended!  This is why I choose to remain invisible and stay in the closet.  Sadly, this kind of warped reasoning is not surprising coming from an employee of a 40-year-old gay rights organization that had yet to change its name to reflect approximately 50% of the people it purports to represent.

However, after this recent slap in our face, NGLTF has made some progress.  The Task Force waited until after Celebrate Bisexuality Day to announce it had changed its name to “National LGBTQ Task Force.”  Well, isn’t that nice?  But I have to ask, ‘How about owning your years of Bi erasure and your biphobia?  How about an apology?’  Hell, I’d be happy to see some advocacy and articles about bisexuality on the Task Force homepage.  I’d like to feel respected and supported as a bisexual by all queer rights organizations.

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Posted on October 13th, 2014 by The Invisible Bisexual

BECAUSE Brings Bisexuals Together

Surround me with a few hundred bisexuals for a whole weekend, and I relax like I haven’t in a long time, feeling empowered and supported.  Even after all these years as an out bisexual, being with so many bi comrades who understand our unique challenges and care about our community is still a rare experience.  But if Keynoter ABilly Jones-Hennin hadn’t launched a full-on campaign to convince me to go with him, I would have missed out on this inspiring gathering of my peers.

ABilly Jones-Hennin and Dr. Loraine Hutchins taking a break at BECAUSE in Minneapolis. (June 2014)

The last time I attended BECAUSE (Bisexual Empowerment Conference: A Uniting, Supportive Experience) was soon after the 1991 publication of “Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out,” the bi anthology Lani Ka’ahumanu and I co-edited, which includes ABilly’s coming out story.  The love, respect and understanding I received at BECAUSE, both then and this year, were profoundly encouraging.  The stigma that’s all too often projected onto bisexuals takes a disheartening toll.  This is all the more reason why the Bisexual Organizing Project’s annual gathering is such a treasure.

BECAUSE 2014 was held on June 6-9, at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis.  The conference featured presentations on media representations of bisexuality; health care; the state of the bi movement, intersecting identities; bi visibility; sexual violence; aging; bi arts and literature; and the publishing industry.  There were workshops, panels, plenary sessions, a theater performance, various social activities, even a bi items gift shop.  I met young filmmakers, playwrights, bloggers, rappers, student activists, elder caregivers, parents, teachers, scientists, artists, secretaries, and cashiers—all kinds of bi and bi-friendly human beings.

ABilly is among the elder vanguard of the LGBT movement in the United States, and he had much wisdom to share in his keynote address.  He is someone who can organize a bathroom line at a crowded movie theater, a line of non-violent resisters at a demonstration, or a rope line at the White House with equal aplomb.  Originally from Antigua, West Indies, this month he will celebrate a 36-year, same-gender-loving relationship with his bi partner, Christopher Hennin.

Among his many accomplishments, my longtime friend co-founded Gay Married Men (GAMMA), the National Coalition of Black Lesbians and Gays (NCBLG), and several other gay and human service organizations.  In the late 70s, he helped mobilize the first national March on Washington for Gay and Lesbian Rights, convened the first conference of Third World Lesbians and Gays at Howard University, and led the first African-American gay delegation to the White House.  His recent essay about himself and his father will be published this fall in “RECOGNIZE,” a new anthology on bi men.

ABilly flashback

The merry twinkle in ABilly’s eyes first caught my attention at the Washington DC Runaway House when he walked into our tiny basement office in Dupont Circle to interview for a youth counselor position in the mid-70s.  His experience as a devoted father and a compassionate human rights activist were just what our young clients needed. He eventually became director of the program.  Since that time, we’ve been serving our communities and instigating political action together for almost 40 years, inspiring and mentoring each other along the way.

This year, I was honored to introduce ABilly to the conference attendees, most of whom were meeting him for the first time. Who better to epitomize BECAUSE values? This 72-year-old great granddad exemplifies loyalty and caring, inspiring many by his brave and steadfast love for his partner and their blended, inter-connected family. He’s a quietly persistent instigator who sticks up for seniors, homeless people, prisoners, refugees and workers. ABilly’s big arms embrace us all. He makes everyone feel like family.  Just because.

With Haddayr Copley-Woods, a great photographer and one of the energetic conference volunteers.
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Posted on June 18th, 2014 by Loraine Hutchins

Ah, spirit and sex

We live at a time in postmodernity in which the themes of past eras have found their way back into our collective consciousness. Viral epidemics and pandemics such as HIV, swine flu, and bird flu have replaced bacterial plagues. Inverted totalitarianism has replaced imperialism. Multi/transnational corporations have replaced empires. Wars on Islamic extremism have replaced the Crusades. The impact of these forces upon our collective consciousness is to force dichotomous, binary thinking. We are pressured to believe in right and wrong, good people and bad people. We are encouraged to be suspicious of nuance, complexity, ambiguity, and the diunital, i.e., the union of opposites. Spirituality and religion, like sexuality, can be sites of contestation or compliance. They can broaden and expand our ability to embrace the liminal or embolden hostility toward liminality .
These may seem like lofty ideas, so theoretical as to be meaningless to the average person. Ask the bisexual-identified Muslim who wishes to enter the United States with a dildo about how theoretical these issues are. Ask the pansexual hotel worker who is using a prayer to the Orishas to remain healthy because s/he has no health care or job security if these issues are too removed from what is happening in everyday people’s lives. Ask the machinist with two lovers, recently laid off and now dependent upon the food bank of the church, who is being told by a right wing media pundit that the Chinese or Mexicans are to blame for unemployment if these issues don’t have tangible material consequences. Ask the bi academic, shuttling between assignments to several different classes at several different colleges trying to scrape together a living wage and still maintain her/his connection to grace as a part of the large pool of contingent faculty in higher education, if these issues are too academic. We live in a time when we are being pressured to contract inward upon ourselves and see queerness—sexual, spiritual, political, or social—as too radically inconvenient for the moment.
Even movements that intend to exact more freedoms have contributed to the denial of same. The way in which the gay liberation movement has engaged heterosexism has contributed to popular culture narratives of categorical sexualities with straight and gay as fixed, infallible, and totalizing forms of sexual identity. Same-sex marriage advocacy has been practiced in ways that are antagonistic to marriage equality. Authentic marriage equality would have to include polyamorous relationships between more than two partners and genderqueer relationships that embrace gender expressions beyond the binary of male and female.
We, therefore, have to take care to be critically self-reflective as we move in the world, particularly if we intend our actions to have socially just and ecologically sound consequences. How we frame our loves, sexual and sacred, can play an important part in critical self-reflexivity. We see this special issue of the Journal of Bisexuality on bisexualities and spiritualities as a contribution to that framing. In this introduction, we offer you our summary of what’s inside, the highlights and gaps, what we found interesting and what we still long to read about, areas where we feel the intersecting fields of bisexualities and spiritualities still have glaring present absences and absent presences. We chose to look at spirituality in the context of bisexuality or through a bi/pan/polysexual framework because of the opportunity the framework offers to disrupt the dichotomous and offer the liminal and diunital in considering spirituality. We also wanted to see if there were spaces within theology and spirituality that had not been excavated, or could not be excavated, by a heterosexist or homosexual-centric framework.
This special issue began as the spiritchild of Loraine Hutchins. Loraine, one of the founders of the modern bisexual movement in the U.S., is known for instigating conversations about how bisexual-, pansexual-, and polysexual-identified persons experience, conceptualize, and practice spirituality and religiosity from the uniqueness of their lived erotic experiences. This interest stems from her previous work on the sacred and the sexual (Hutchins, 2007, 2002, 2001). In seeking a collection of work that was inclusive of various traditions and cultural contexts, she sought out writers who could contribute to the desired diversity of voices. H. Sharif Williams (Herukhuti), a sex radical shaman of the Hip Hop generation, saw the original call for papers for the special issue and sought out Loraine. Through conversation, we discovered our common threads. Ibrahim Abdurrahman Farajajé served on both of our doctoral dissertation committees. We were colleagues of M. Paz Galupo—for Loraine as coworkers at Towson University and for Herukhuti as a contributor to a special issue of the journal guest edited by Paz (Williams, 2007). We also discovered how much we were each called to explore the sacred and the sexual.
We decided to partner on the special issue as guest co-editors. Our collaboration demonstrated a bridging across cities, generations, genders, ethnicities, and spiritual traditions. We hoped to be the nuance, complexity, ambiguity, and diunital that we want to see in the world. As we performed the editorial tasks associated with a journal issue such as drafting and distributing the call for papers, soliciting manuscript submissions, identifying peer reviewers, etc., we shared our work and her/histories with each other. We chose to make the relationship nuanced, complex, and deep. We learned about each other’s loves, sexual and sacred. We rejected the option to have a disembodied and desacralized academic process. The space we created allowed us to engage in critical self-reflection and critical feedback with each other.
We share these various aspects of our process with you to provide context for this special spirit issue, and to contribute to the project of dismantling the depersonalized, disembodied academic. To open the discussion of where we have come from and where we are going in these pages, we offer this prayer/invocation to our readers:
May you find joy
May you create love
May you experience grace
May you know peace
May you give birth
May you inspire lust
May you apply wisdom
May you offer honor
May you share ecstasy.

Excerpted from Our Hearts Still Hold These Intimate Connections:
An Introduction to the Spiritualities Special Issue of the Journal of Bisexuality, which later became Sexuality, Religion and the Sacred: Bisexual, Pansexual and Polysexual Perspective, Routledge, 2012, co-editors, Loraine Hutchins & H. Sharif Williams, Goddard College

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Posted on October 19th, 2012 by Loraine Hutchins